Atria (atriakitz) wrote in powerofthepen,

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New story

I was wondering what you all thought about this idea i had for a story. I've only got a little bit of it done so far and was looking for comments as to whether it sounded like a good idea or not.

Title: Perfect
Summary: story exerpt
Rating: G (so far)

For many years people have strived to create the perfect being, be it human or not. Scientists have toiled and slaved over equations to help create the genetic code needed to be perfect. After countless years of research and trials one such group of scientists did just that. They created someone prefect in everyway. But perfection is in the eyes of the beholder and everything has a flaw somewhere along the way.

A solid white room lined ceiling to floor with shelves was her home. There was a colorless carpet in half the room and white tile in the other half. Upon the shelves were books randomly stacked or strewn about, and on the floor was everything from large stuffed animals and children’s toys to pieces of electrical devices and notebooks. In the back corner was a bed, its covers, sheets and pillows were also devoid of all color. In the tiled section was a round table with four chairs. Two more chairs were set up over by the wall having been drug over for use to reach something. There was a large arm chair in another corner. The majority of color came from the objects strewn about the floor and shelves. Everything else was white or grey sometimes being a mixture of both.
In the chair was a figure draped across both arms. The figure was clearly female with the small figure and frail looking features and looked to be no more then seventeen. Her head was pillowed on her arms as she slept a book fallen to the floor from her lap. She was wearing a simple white jumper style dress and nothing else. When she stood it would fall to her knees along with her hair. Her silver hair had a tint of purple within it giving it a metallic purple color. It was pulled back in a tight standard braid and was draped over her waist. Her features were pale and soft and her breathing was steady and slow showing she was truly asleep. With her in the chair was a small black stuffed toy. The stuffed toy stood out starkly against all the white. It was somewhat worn but still recognizable as a small rabbit.
The only door into the room opened silently and the only noise it made was the click of it being closed again after someone had walked in. The girl opened her eyes revealing them to be green and gold mixed together in rings slowly moving inward towards her pupil. She looked over at the door silently. The figure standing by the door was wearing a white lab coat over dark blue and black clothes. The Figure was male with his features rough and sturdy. He was looking around the room then down at a clipboard he had in his hands. He had short black hair that looked messy but was actually well kept and a tanned complexion. His eyes were a standard brown and his features were sharp. Under his lab coat was a dark blue t-shirt and black slacks. His shoes were simple black tennis shoes and his lab coat was standard issue white and hung to his knees.
After he was done checking off things on the clipboard he looked over and spotted the girl and smiled slightly. He walked over to the table and put the clipboard down then walked over to her. He wound his way through the stuff strewn about the floor and crouched down in front of the chair so they were eye level.
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